Poetry

Jacklyn Janeksla

if a pupil breaks life looks like something it isn’t

 

breaking my wrist on our honeymoon should have
been enough, why did i do the final lap, circle
around you as if it would be the last, goodbye, the last
goodbye, which energy tempted me
who were we and why did it have to hurt so fucking bad
the breaking, the fissure

anything that needs repair is a sign from the universe,

the cracked window on the metro won’t let me
see my face, it means i’m not there, i don’t exist
nor do you, we, us, that thing we were, could have and should have been
but aren’t
weren’t, verbs like fingers penetrating the ground
death hopes of growing old, die

if it needs fixing it might not need attention, so ignore it, it might
need to be thrown away, trashed, demolished, erase the erasure
some people see broken people like this
we might be those people

we have smashed things that were hearts and things that we not hearts,

leaving the city of lights, of love, of where we promised
to start over, again, again, again
i ate lunch from a broken jar, crunched glass like almonds, blood-tooth
smile, wince, sob but pretend it’s rain, boss bitch through
leaving, in the reflection of a canal, i saw a cloud the shape of before we were broken


jacklyn janeksela is a wolf and a raven, a cluster of stars, & a direct descent of the divine feminine. she can be found; & elsewhere. she is in a post-punk band called the velblouds. her baby @ femalefilet. her chapbook fitting a witch//hexing the stitch (The Operating System, 2017). she is an energy. find her @ hermetic hare for herbal astrology readings.

Emily Corwin