18 subscribers 396 views Joined Apr 6, 2014
THE ONLY channel where you can watch someone buy plane tickets online and then not board the plane. Twice a month I buy plane tickets online and then you watch me sit in my own living room at the time of departure. The real fun begins when a plane is delayed, a delay triggers the “ask me anything” segment where I answer your questions until the plane departs. Message me your thoughts on what flight I should miss next and support my Patreon page so that I can afford to miss international flights by the start of next year. My name is Jared and I’m late for this plane!
TO DOs IN MILWAUKEE: MISS YOUR FLIGHT TO MILWAUKEE
6 months ago 146 views
Description: This week we name all the things I could do in Milwaukee while I miss my flight to Milwaukee. We start at boarding time (8:15 AM) and finish at takeoff (8:40 AM). My family and I once lived comfortably in a suburb outside of Milwaukee until one day we no longer lived there. I am trying to find a more accurate way of knowing whether a plane is taxiing or in the air, please bear with me as I [...]
LIST: TOP 5 PLACES TO EAT IF YOU’RE NOT IN MILWAUKEE
5 months ago 70 views
Description: My plane touched down in Milwaukee but no part of my body is in Milwaukee. When I was young, my mother was groped by her boss and the only way my parents could cope was by leaving our Milwaukee suburb. Things worked out for a while but then my parents realized they could only stand each other while they were distracted by moving. We kept moving, at least once a year and to cheer me up, my mom made a list of all the things we could do and all the places we could eat since we left Milwaukee. I share that list now with everyone who has no part of their body inside [...]
MOST AFFORDABLE FAKE TRIPS- LAS VEGAS
3 months ago 23 views
Description: If you, too, would like to book flights but not actually go on the plane you should know that it is not a cheap hobby. You will save money by being flexible with your departing and arriving airports. I KNOW certain airports will give you a bigger rush than others but our message is the same regardless: We will never leave the place we call home and we reject the premise that we must leave home to be a global citizen. We will not leave home even if our dads can’t accept that another man touched his wife. I have not been in a relationship in years, I have no idea what I would do if my partner cheated on me. Through all of this I have found that Las Vegas is the best destination to book an affordable fake [...]
James Ardis published the chapbook "Your Arkansas: A Strategy Guide" (Gauss PDF) in 2016, a project that combines psychosis and video game strategy guides. His writing appears in Heavy Feather Review, Rivulet, The Rumpus, Crossing Genres, and a personal Tumblr page dedicated to hypercapitalist Everybody Loves Raymond posts.